If you are working in a profession which involves you giving emotional support to others you may well suffer from burnout. The end result of burning out of giving can lead to you feeling depleted physically, emotionally and mentally. It is avoidable through good time management and focusing on your own self care. This is not to say that you wont have times where you just can't give or care any more. This will happen. That's when you need to have a break. Unfortunately for many of us our work is casual which doesn't include paid holidays. Perhaps this is why burnout has become so prevalent in the caring professions recently. Regular breaks are as good as a holiday and focusing on yourself rather than your clients might be a good start. It's very easy to lose that focus.
I remember how hurt I was when I had been working for a young woman for three years and then got another job somewhere else. Our paths crossed some years later. The young woman smiled at me, I could see that she had no recollection of who I was. I had seen this young woman nearly every day for 6 hours a day for three years. I was just one of a faceless army of support workers she had, had in her 30 years of life. People coming and going being close then never seeing them again.
That old cognitive bias lead me to believe that somehow I had been special in her life because she had been special in mine, I could never forget her. This is an example of why you should always put yourself first and everyone else after you. I think most people working in caring professions will realize the importance of prioritizing your own needs yet surprisingly there is a very high burnout rate in these professions due to the fact that we can't seem to walk the walk as far as self care goes. As with everything practicing skills makes us better at them. Self care is a skill us carers need to practice.
Inlets and Outlets are one of my favourite ways to consider my energy and mental health. I think we all have heard about outlets these are places where we vent our frustrations in healthy ways such as going to the gym, running, painting any activity the expends energy and feelings is an outlet. We let out emotions. Inlets are activities that regenerate our strengths things that we put into ourselves like meditation, going for a massage, being spoiled by our partners or friends these are activities in which we receive something usually nurturing toward ourselves. Strangely, I've noticed that people who work in caring professions are very good at giving and not so good at receiving. I've seen some nursing colleagues positively squirm at the idea of allowing themselves a day of self care or letting their partner do something for them or even ask for help. I'm not sure about the origins of why this is a problem for us givers to switch roles to be takers. It would make an interesting topic to research that is for sure.
In the medical field there's a bit of elitism regarding how hard you can push yourself. There's a culture of "we all did it tough, you're going to do it tough too". Doctors and nurses working without adequate sleep is often seen as a badge that is worn with pride. It's such an unhealthy approach to work of any kind. In my opinion when in the caring professions where life and death decisions are being made it seems the height of stupidity to be operating without adequate sleep and nutrition.
When I first started working as an Assistant In Nursing I encountered this horrid attitude. I spoke to my father about it and said I'm afraid I'm going to make a mistake because I'm so tired. He said next time they say something along the lines of "We use to do it much harder, what's wrong with you, simply say we used to live in caves too". I tried it and it worked.
Standing up against a culture of work until you drop is hard. The way I see it is; if that's how they want to work that's fine for them. If they want to do four shifts in a row and go around with their chest puffed out then that's fine. Let them feel better than me they obviously have a lot riding on it. I love myself and I care enough about my clients to be aware of my personal boundaries to know what I can do to perform my best. I certainly cannot do four shifts back to back and do a good job. I lost a job because I chose not to do those kind of shifts every week. I was happy to lose that job.
Life is in fact not short, with any luck, the average life expectancy has increased a lot. Its not unusual for people to live well into their late 80's and early 90's these days. The decisions you make now will last through your lifetime. If you push yourself too hard you will hurt yourself. There are lifelong consequences such as, having an emotional and mental breakdown. It's a well known fact now that shift workers life expectancy is shorter than those who work within normal hours. That might be all about pushing the limits in these professions. Pushing past your limitations isn't what I would call a good thing, extending your limits gradually, learning about personal boundaries and extending your capabilities through training, education and mentorship these things are fine. Smashing your head up against your limitations, denying your body food and rest, not such a smart move.
These things not only impact on you, they impact on important people to you, your family and friends. These people are generally the people who have your best interest at heart. If you asked them if they wanted you to work four shifts in a row back to back I'm pretty sure they would not hesitate in telling you that it's a dumb idea. It's not selfish to prioritise yourself its sensible. Stand up for yourself because nobody else is going to. The organisations that you work for are interested in what you can do for them and even the nicest places are busy filling shifts and you are not the main priority.
The general rule is that after awhile people learn what you are capable of and if you do a great job at work, your clients will report back to your employer how wonderful you are and everyone will be happy. If you do your best job when you are at work it reflects well on the organisation you work for and you become an asset to them. It then becomes in their best interest to stick within your boundaries and not ask you to do more than you are capable of.
I intend to live into my 90's I want to be a fit healthy 90 year old, break the mold of shift workers dying young. I hope that you join me in advocating for self care starting with yourself. Love is grand and we should first start by loving ourselves. I was thinking about how I could define the role of all people who care for others and this is what I came up with. An important sentence in the overall life story of others. We are important but we are only part of a person's story. It's up to us to make our role as carers an important part of our own story and not the whole story.
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