I think its very important not to impose our own beliefs onto anyone else. We are all a product of our environment our biological make up and our lived experience. We see the world through filters that can sometimes led to misconceptions about others and ourselves. How we receive and interpret information can be dependent on so many things that are completely unreliable for example our memory, the family culture in which we were bought up, the country and it's culture, our religious and political beliefs. These filters can distort reality. It takes a very disciplined mind to let go of these preconceptions and view the world with an open yet critical mind.
Being aware that your world view is affected by a variety of elements is an excellent starting point. To question some of your own long held beliefs is not always an easy thing to do. This can cause emotional discomfort, mental stress and in some cases physical symptoms of anxiety. People don't have to question their beliefs or perceptions. We can sit comfortably with our beliefs and happily go through life without questioning anything. People have happy lives accepting reality as it is presented to them without question. Some people live out tortuous existences believing that they are doomed to stay married to a person who is abusive. A child who has been told that they are fat and ugly will always believe they are fat and ugly. That child may even make themselves fat and ugly. Creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. Its not an easy task to unravel these beliefs or perceptions of the world, to let them go can led to a path in which you are virtually endeavoring to remake yourself, change your view of the world. It's a job that requires on going maintenance, lots of support and a bucket load of inner fortitude. However, it is possible to change and grow yourself into the person you wish to become, just like Marilyn could choose to be the anonymous Norma Jean or the Movie Star icon.
I often say to people who are experiencing anxiety in relation to changing themselves that it's like cleaning out a messy cupboard. You are pulling everything out, sorting through what you want to keep and what you want to discard. It looks a lot worse than it really is, as time goes on it gets better. It's a confronting and emotional process to chuck out beliefs that have been with us all our lives, even though we know deep down they are unhealthy for us. People can feel that they are rejecting their parent or their culture or even themselves when they change these long held beliefs. This is where it becomes important to acknowledge that you are not rejecting your parent just their behaviors or their choices in parenting. It is entirely possible to love your parents and reject their ideas. We are more than ideas and behaviors. I disagree with my mother and fathers choice to use smacking as a method of parenting. When I made a choice to parent in a different way I was not rejecting my parents. We agree to disagree on parenting, we still enjoy the same movies, music and favorite recipes.
It's also very liberating and freeing to thoughtfully choose your life path. It can be exciting to redefine yourself. It's really great when you look in the cupboard and see everything there for what it really is. Occasionally you'll have to re-clean it and examine where you've gone wrong and get things back together.
You don't have to get counselling to change yourself or your behavior however, I think it's a much easier process if you have someone who can act as a guide. Someone who has had some training and possibly some life experience. I started going to counselling myself as a 16 year old. I go back whenever I feel I'm in need of a top up. Unlike the kitchen cupboard some of the things that you look at in your emotional, social and cultural past may cause pain, confusion and a sense of groundlessness. A sense that you really don't know anything, you don't know where to begin or how things will end. Having someone who is a professional who has tread this path with others, who knows that it's possible to have a happy ending can give you a perceptive which is hopeful and positive.
It's very easy when examining our lives to get stuck in all the terrible things that have gone on. Counselor are trained to identify strengths and are able to approach the journey with fresh eyes that are non-judgmental and hold you in unconditional positive regard. I know in my training at ACAP students learn to be; self aware, are encouraged to assist potential clients with an open mind, an open heart with a professional approach. The aim always being to assist clients in self education and self development. We do this by utilizing our thorough understanding of counseling methods and theories to find an approach which is tailored to each individual client we see. This is what makes going to a counselor different from chatting to your friends. A chat with a counselor is a meaningful conversation with a purpose based on the research and practice of many therapists and theorist that have passed along this information. This is not to say there is no value in chatting to your friends it's just a different type of conversation that you have with a counselor.
People sometimes have the perception that counselors should be people who never have problems or marriage break downs. However, counselors and psychologists are just humans who make mistakes too. We are encouraged to go to counselling ourselves, we are encouraged to be self aware. It is a professional requirement that we have special professional counselling that focuses on how we do our job as a counselor and how we can improve. This is called professional supervision.
I consider my counselling experience like going to the GP to monitor my thyroid condition and general health. I work in an emotionally demanding job as a nurse so it stands to reason that I should go to a counselor to address some of the issues that affect me personally and professionally. I think of it as part of keeping myself healthy. The stigma surrounding counselling and therapy of this kind is based on a faulty cultural belief in my opinion. To question these kind of beliefs can lead you to live a much more authentic healthy life. It's ideal if we look after our physical health, our emotional and our mental health. Counselors and psychologists are the experts in mental health so, why not go and see one if you are on shaky ground emotionally or mentally. We also should look after our social needs whether that is taking some time to be alone or connecting with friends and family.
The current research into longevity and healthy lives suggest that people do well in life generally, when they have high degrees of cognitive hardiness, good social networks, awareness of mental health and regular exercise. These things may seem hard to achieve however, if we break it down to going for a walk every so often, catching up with friends on the phone or going out for coffee. Trying to be honest with yourself in relation to how your are emotionally coping with the demands of life, it's not that much to ask. Consider the benefits that you will receive by putting this little bit of effort into yourself. If you do find that you are struggling don't be afraid to ask for help, get a referral to a social worker, counselor or psychologist. It really isn't worth risking your own mental health over a faulty perception that others may have in relation to going to see a mental health professional.
Being aware that your world view is affected by a variety of elements is an excellent starting point. To question some of your own long held beliefs is not always an easy thing to do. This can cause emotional discomfort, mental stress and in some cases physical symptoms of anxiety. People don't have to question their beliefs or perceptions. We can sit comfortably with our beliefs and happily go through life without questioning anything. People have happy lives accepting reality as it is presented to them without question. Some people live out tortuous existences believing that they are doomed to stay married to a person who is abusive. A child who has been told that they are fat and ugly will always believe they are fat and ugly. That child may even make themselves fat and ugly. Creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. Its not an easy task to unravel these beliefs or perceptions of the world, to let them go can led to a path in which you are virtually endeavoring to remake yourself, change your view of the world. It's a job that requires on going maintenance, lots of support and a bucket load of inner fortitude. However, it is possible to change and grow yourself into the person you wish to become, just like Marilyn could choose to be the anonymous Norma Jean or the Movie Star icon.
I often say to people who are experiencing anxiety in relation to changing themselves that it's like cleaning out a messy cupboard. You are pulling everything out, sorting through what you want to keep and what you want to discard. It looks a lot worse than it really is, as time goes on it gets better. It's a confronting and emotional process to chuck out beliefs that have been with us all our lives, even though we know deep down they are unhealthy for us. People can feel that they are rejecting their parent or their culture or even themselves when they change these long held beliefs. This is where it becomes important to acknowledge that you are not rejecting your parent just their behaviors or their choices in parenting. It is entirely possible to love your parents and reject their ideas. We are more than ideas and behaviors. I disagree with my mother and fathers choice to use smacking as a method of parenting. When I made a choice to parent in a different way I was not rejecting my parents. We agree to disagree on parenting, we still enjoy the same movies, music and favorite recipes.
It's also very liberating and freeing to thoughtfully choose your life path. It can be exciting to redefine yourself. It's really great when you look in the cupboard and see everything there for what it really is. Occasionally you'll have to re-clean it and examine where you've gone wrong and get things back together.
You don't have to get counselling to change yourself or your behavior however, I think it's a much easier process if you have someone who can act as a guide. Someone who has had some training and possibly some life experience. I started going to counselling myself as a 16 year old. I go back whenever I feel I'm in need of a top up. Unlike the kitchen cupboard some of the things that you look at in your emotional, social and cultural past may cause pain, confusion and a sense of groundlessness. A sense that you really don't know anything, you don't know where to begin or how things will end. Having someone who is a professional who has tread this path with others, who knows that it's possible to have a happy ending can give you a perceptive which is hopeful and positive.
It's very easy when examining our lives to get stuck in all the terrible things that have gone on. Counselor are trained to identify strengths and are able to approach the journey with fresh eyes that are non-judgmental and hold you in unconditional positive regard. I know in my training at ACAP students learn to be; self aware, are encouraged to assist potential clients with an open mind, an open heart with a professional approach. The aim always being to assist clients in self education and self development. We do this by utilizing our thorough understanding of counseling methods and theories to find an approach which is tailored to each individual client we see. This is what makes going to a counselor different from chatting to your friends. A chat with a counselor is a meaningful conversation with a purpose based on the research and practice of many therapists and theorist that have passed along this information. This is not to say there is no value in chatting to your friends it's just a different type of conversation that you have with a counselor.
People sometimes have the perception that counselors should be people who never have problems or marriage break downs. However, counselors and psychologists are just humans who make mistakes too. We are encouraged to go to counselling ourselves, we are encouraged to be self aware. It is a professional requirement that we have special professional counselling that focuses on how we do our job as a counselor and how we can improve. This is called professional supervision.
I consider my counselling experience like going to the GP to monitor my thyroid condition and general health. I work in an emotionally demanding job as a nurse so it stands to reason that I should go to a counselor to address some of the issues that affect me personally and professionally. I think of it as part of keeping myself healthy. The stigma surrounding counselling and therapy of this kind is based on a faulty cultural belief in my opinion. To question these kind of beliefs can lead you to live a much more authentic healthy life. It's ideal if we look after our physical health, our emotional and our mental health. Counselors and psychologists are the experts in mental health so, why not go and see one if you are on shaky ground emotionally or mentally. We also should look after our social needs whether that is taking some time to be alone or connecting with friends and family.
The current research into longevity and healthy lives suggest that people do well in life generally, when they have high degrees of cognitive hardiness, good social networks, awareness of mental health and regular exercise. These things may seem hard to achieve however, if we break it down to going for a walk every so often, catching up with friends on the phone or going out for coffee. Trying to be honest with yourself in relation to how your are emotionally coping with the demands of life, it's not that much to ask. Consider the benefits that you will receive by putting this little bit of effort into yourself. If you do find that you are struggling don't be afraid to ask for help, get a referral to a social worker, counselor or psychologist. It really isn't worth risking your own mental health over a faulty perception that others may have in relation to going to see a mental health professional.
